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Think you know who is in your inner circle? This might surprise you and explain a lot.


Yup, I did that...I took it back to the time of myfaves and myspace top 8. There was a time when you had to choose your inner circle for phone plans, messaging systems, and social media networking. This isn't something that has gone away - it has taken different forms like Facebook groups, messaging apps, exclusive websites where people pay to view your content. So, what's the deal with inner circles?

I'll let one of my favorite authors clue you in...

“But you are the average of the five people you associate with most, so do not underestimate the effects of your pessimistic, unambitious, or disorganized friends. If someone isn't making you stronger, they're making you weaker.”

- Timothy Ferriss, author of The 4-hour Work Week

There's a lot of truth to his statement and while that may come off as harsh it might also be a crucial step into finding your true self or getting closer to where you want to be in life.

Humor me for a moment. Pull up your phone. I want you to look at the last 5 people that you messaged via text, direct messenger, or phone call log.

Now, if possible, look at the content of those messages...

If you saw those messages from an objective point of view, what would they say about your current environment? (is it healthy, toxic, unorganized, workaholic, abusive, helpful?)

So, the content I found on my phone wasn't planned for, but I just pulled up my last 5 text messages and I'll break down some key patterns:

  • 3 of the messages are sent to and from family members.

  • 2 of the messages are sent to and from close friends.

  • The family messages are all topics that I perceive as words of love or laughter. (*insert live, laugh, love joke here)

  • 1 of the 3 messages from family members is actually about helping them with a job connection I found - which they have a follow up meeting with next week. YAY!

  • The other two messages are with friends about job opportunities, projects, and ways to help each other out.

Again, I didn't plan this out but the common theme I'm finding is helping others and others helping me.

I want to focus on the helping others topic.

It is no secret that people are resigning from their positions of employment because of too many work hours, not enough pay, toxic work environments, terrible or no benefits, poor performance from peers or superiors, and things generally out of their control...

Now, looking at your own list of messages, I implore you to see what the content is of those messages and if the material is helping or hurting the situation you're in.

It might be a good way to see if you're responding to toxic bosses that text during your 'after hours' time. Maybe you saw a message that you should follow up with but you're afraid of what might happen. Perhaps an opportunity of a lifetime is around the other side of a phone call that you keep putting off or maybe those messages have content that's complaining about work rather than finding a way out of the profession you're in.

Whatever your situation may be, make sure the inner circle of people you communicate with have your best interest in mind. Especially if you're seeking a change in your life.

Be mindful of your inner circle - you can always change it up.



J. MacMorran

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